hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
