Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
