Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
