Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
