This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
