Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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