Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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