all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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