She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
