Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
