Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
