Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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