what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
