I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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