3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
