Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
