i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
