Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
