I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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