Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
