The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
