after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
