My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
