My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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