is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
