she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
