Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
