So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
