i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
