Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
