Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
