We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
