:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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