Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
