No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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