it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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