her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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