my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
