How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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