Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
