Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
