Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
