even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
