he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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