hell yes lets make some ravioli
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
