the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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