did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
