Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
