hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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