I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
