i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
