She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So vagazzling was a success
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
