i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I AM VODKA MAN
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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