happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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